Beverly!
I'm the type of girl who lives life with my head held high. I’ve always been me, whatever that means. Other people think I’m a bitch because I’m opinionated. 22nd January is my day. A good sense of fashion and blue eyes always turns me on. An emotional train wreck. Loves warm hugs & lingering kisses.
Hate me? Spare me your criticism & get lost
Non-Haters can pick up a latte and pikies up!

Love, sex & magic ♔

And when you think of me, just close your eyes and dream

Alsion Seow Ashley Yee Bernice Chee Celine Gan Chay Sin Ting Cheryl Tham Choong Jun Wei Chua JenLyn Daniel Ho Kang Yeh Darren Ho Shen Wae Ferbie Choi Fiona Joshua Diong Lee Kyleen Lim Yi Sian Melissa Foo Chia Le Pang Li Anne Ryan Cheah Tuck Yan Sabrina Chan Suet Yean Stanleigh Jenkins Tan Li Anne Tan Pei Ru Uthraa Iyer Vet & Mei Wee Jonee Wong Yi Wah David Archuleta♥♥ Jason Mraz♥

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they're all at a party down under, dancing like flames ▼ histories: May 2008 histories: June 2008 histories: July 2008 histories: August 2008 histories: September 2008 histories: October 2008 histories: November 2008 histories: December 2008 histories: January 2009 histories: February 2009 histories: March 2009 histories: April 2009 histories: May 2009 histories: June 2009 histories: July 2009 histories: August 2009 histories: September 2009 histories: October 2009 histories: November 2009 histories: December 2009 histories: January 2010 histories: February 2010 histories: March 2010 histories: April 2010 histories: May 2010 histories: June 2010 histories: July 2010 histories: August 2010 histories: September 2010 histories: October 2010 histories: November 2010 histories: December 2010 histories: January 2011 histories: February 2011 histories: March 2011 histories: April 2011 histories: May 2011 histories: June 2011 histories: July 2011 histories: August 2011 histories: September 2011 histories: October 2011 histories: November 2011 histories: December 2011 histories: January 2012 histories: February 2012 histories: March 2012 histories: April 2012 histories: May 2012

I'm okay?

Am i really?
No.

Im being torn inside out.
And idk how much more i can take.

Term break

(i know that the picture has absolutely no relevance to the topic)

So... im back from the dead!
Mid term's are finally over and holidays are here!

Surprisingly my results we're all that bad.
Only my accounts, sejarah and add maths were a let down.
But it's fine.

Tbh, im really nervous on getting my English paper.
This is a first!
Because i don't think i did well,
its just a horrible feeling when you're expected to do great but fall short instead.

Ohh whatever, its over anyway.

So the holidays are finally here.

I was really looking forward to it,
but now, i don't really feel that ecstatic about it.
I mean, sure it's great to go to bed and arise from bed at whatever time you please.
But other than that,
what else is there to do?

As you're aware of, my social life is about as active as snorlex.
Which really says something doesn't it?
Guess i'll be busy rotting at home,
no surprise there huh?

Talking about social life,
i feel like mine's is going down the drain.

There's this friend of mine..
we used to be close a few years back,
but these days i feel like i can't talk to her anymore.
Everytime i open my mouth, we disagree.
and we start snapping at each other.
and the next day, we act as if everything's good.

It's such a frustrating friendship to continue.

I wish i could just cut ties with her.
But we have the same group of friends,
and just about everyone thinks we're still two peas in a pod.

It's just plain frustrating.

We don't share the same interest,
we have different outlook on things,
we have different thought processes.
Nothing clicks between us.

Im just through with arguing.
That's not the point of friendship,
why bother being friends if we don't like each other?

Sigh, i may sound like a horrible friend but i just really can't stand the arguing any longer.

Tough

Was busy fiddling with Photoshop this afternoon.

So the first week of mid term exams are finally over.
Only one week left to go.

I personally think i fared HORRIBLY.
Tbh, the exams weren't really that tough.
But i just.. idk, i made the wrong choices.

And it really frustrates me even more because the exam wasn't even difficult.
If the exam was tough i could probably blame the exam.
But it wasn't.
So im only left with myself to blame.

Damnit.

Sigh, and well things aren't really going well for me
Im really not in a good place right now.

Let's just say things with my family are a little rough.
And as for my friends well,
i sort of feel like i dont actually have friends to open up to.

Im just not comfortable bearing a vulnerable side of myself, i guess.
It's just... tough.

Sigh.

It really doesn't help that im being rather emotional lately.
It fucking sucks, i tell you.

Whenever im feeling lonely
(which is every minute of my existence)
i think of all the bullshit that's going on in my life right now.

Im just really unhappy lately.

Everything isn't how it should be.



Screw this, off to bed.

asdf

(i miss my blue nails)

Okay so i know mid term exams are right around the corner.
And this blog would probably go limp again soon.

So im making up for it now by constantly posting nonsense.

*awkward silence*

Well... My life has been pretty uneventful lately.
I can actually feel myself getting detached from everyone.
Feel myself slithering into a shell, away from all humanity.

I always thought as you get older,
you'd get to do more fun things.

Meet more people
make more memories
do stupid things you'll regret
pull exaggerated pranks on your friends
hang out with em' BBF's every other day.

But in actual fact.

As you get older, more work pile up.
Which results in

staying up late
lacking in sleep
neglecting friends
having no mood/energy to go out
having different schedules as your friends
running around doing projects and attending tuition.

There's barely enough time for yourself, let alone your friends.

Ahhh! So frustrating!

1/3 of the year has come and gone.
And well, i've barely been out with em' chummies.

Thank god some of us are in the same class.
if not, i wont even know what to say to you guys anymore.

Ending my rant today with T.O.P from Big Bang's picture.

Honestly, im more attracted to his personality than his looks.
Damn his sexy soul.

Twitter

Okay so i revitalized my twitter!

Started off as blackmail,
but i might actually decide to keep it.
We'll see !

Follow @BeverlyStarfire


Follow! :)

Tbh, the main reason why i was so against twitter
was because i thought everyone just posted things like where they're at,
what they're doing, who they're with and ect.

To me, that sounded like,
they're just trying to prove to society that they have a life,
but in real fact.
DONT.

So yeah, i thought most people on twitter were shallow.
Except celebs tho, they obviously have a reason to be on twitter.
Because people actually care about their whereabouts.

But actually being on twitter made me change my perspective on twitter.
Twitter is just basically another form of public communication.

I've only been on Twitter for like an hour and a half and i've already posted 60+ tweets.

HAHAHAHAHA.

Breathe Slow

So lots have been going on lately.
And i've barely been online,
which explains why my blog is dying.

So here's the deal,
if you're interested.

Last weekend,
(30/3/2012 - 1/4/2012)
I had my PD trip with the volleyballers & netballers.

It was really quite fun actually

But.. I din't get to play much and when i did get to play ...
I played the worst game of my life.

It was brutally embarrassing!
No kidding.
Like really.
I dint know whether to laugh or to cry.

Okay that wasn't true.
I cried.

But overall the trip was fun.
Honestly, can't believe the gossip i know now.
Pretty bizarre if you ask me.

Ohh, if you were expecting pictures..
I dont have any....

YES, I. DONT. HAVE. ANY.

I din't bring my camera cause my dad took his to America.
And i thought someone else would bring theirs.
But apparently not!
So we got stuck with grainy camwhoring shots on random peoples' phone and ipods.

Sad really.

Then when i came back,
I had some weird allergy in school.
My face was really red and puffy and disgusting.

Ew me.

Then throughout the week,
The Inter-house games were held.

And i was so "luckily" placed in Blue house.
Which has the least number of senior volleyballers.
And on the first day,
i basically humiliated myself.
By being the ONLY volleyballer on my team.
No big surprise that we lost both matches now is there?

But to be honest,
im really really proud of my juniors.
They were good.
Prior to this event, they barely touched a volleyball.
Considering that, they played good.
:')

And thankfully on the second day,
our savior came to action.
Tammy finally played.
And we actually won a match.

Go Tammy!

Then on Thursday,
our class was forced to participate in a BM drama competition.
Which turned out really comically.
We only had 1 and half hours to practice.
It was ...

hahahahahahaha.

And well, that's about it.

But im left with shitloads of work to get round to doing

1. PD trip report.
2. Moral project.
3. BM oral
4. Treasure hunt
5. Designing the Photography board.
6. Do 2 months of homework that isin't up to date.
7. Shop for presents.


#Stressed ):

And on it goes

So the teachers' issue with me is still ongoing.
Read here and here if you don't know what im refering to.

YES, EVEN UNTIL NOW.
It's like they don't have a life or something.

ugh, whatever.

So anyway, its been a boring past few weeks.
Revision, homework, volleyball, tuition.
And the day is gone.

Don't you ever wish there were 28 hours a day instead?

Sigh.

Im currently really frustrated with my Blue house members.
>:(
Inactive bitches people.
I think Blue house members are getting extinct.
No, really.

UGH.
Im a sore looser.
I know that, but i play to win!
and seeing that only 3 people out of the 12 people on my team actually plays volleyball.

Im doomed.

Break

Gotta love Twiggies!

So as you can see by the pictures above,
the only thing i did during the entire week's break was sleep and eat
and not forgetting pokemon of course.

Din't bother catching up with homework or studies like i planned.
Dint even bother to catch up with Gossip Girl / Glee !

Just look at this post really,
its practically oosing with laziness.

And am currently at lost for words.

I think my brain goes on permanent shut down when im house-sitting for more than 24hours.

Oh, found something to talk about.
Had a "Mr.Ching" gathering just yesterday
(14/03/2012)

It was nice.
the pizza, the conversation, the laksa, the awkwardness.

I finally feel like i have friends :')
#achievement

I love small gatherings where you dont actually go to a mall.
You just go somewhere and grab a tutti frutti and TALK.
Thinking bout times like those makes my toes curl :)

Kony 2012

You knew it was coming.

To be completely honest,
when i read what " Koney 2012 " was about,
i thought it would be another over-blown foundation
that takes money from charitable people to provide a limited amount of food/shelter.

There are many of these so called famous charity organizations who has millions of dollars including big fat cheques from celebs & politicians.
And yet, all they do is send a very limited amount of food and medical supplies.
Which probably can sustain only a very limited amount of people.

What happens to the rest of the money?

Anyway, then i saw the Koney 2012 Video
(you can watch if you havent already by clicking on link)
I realized, this wasn't just some overblown foundation robing people of their money.
This is a foundation which is actually willing to take action!
By taking down the top dog ;
Joseph Kony

Whom is responsible for children being killed,
for children whom are being forced into becoming sex slaves,
for children whom are forced to kill their very own parents at a very tender age.

Now this is something that should have been done ages ago,
instead of sending aid over again and again.

Because as useful as sending food & medical supplies are.
They would eventually run out of stock,
and Kony would probably steal all the food and kidnap more kids.
Which still leaves families hungry and afraid!

By taking him down,
it would mean that people there would finally be free to work, be free to feed their kids, be free to start building their country back up again.

So thank you Jason Russell & team for finally taking action.

Show some support.

The Notebook

(Picture taken in April 2011, Terengganu)

Ditched school today.
Spent my whole day reading gossip girl, watching The Notebook, drinking tea.

Dont i feel classy.
AHAHA.

For those of you whom haven't watched The Notebook yet,
you should get round to it!
I can't believe i've put off watching it till now.
I swear its good. It's GREAT.

Reminds me of Titanic a tad bit.
Where you bawl your eyes during the ENTIRE (2 hours) show.

To be honest the reason wyh im so attached to this movie would definitely be
because it was set to film back in the 1980-1990's era.
To me, that would be my favorite era.
Hands down.

Guys were actually gentlemen back then.

They were playful, and they could dance!,
and they brought you flowers for no reason at all,
they would personally write you notes or letters,
they would take you to secret coves just because there wasn't anything else to do,
They would kiss you on the forehead.

Now, that's the dream.


Definitely one of the best love stories of all time :')

Happenings

Pheww. That was tiring.
Took me, whaat, 45 minutes to find a picture specifically for this blog post!
Yes, that's how hard it is to find a good picture of myself.

Recap on the things that have been going on lately :

1.Failed my Accounts paper

2. Took up tuition and became a master Accountant.
(just kidding, my theory is still bad)

3. Took the worst History paper of my life.

4. Recovering from a bone fracture on my right toe pinkie? Pinkie toe?

5. Got through monthly test (ii)

6. Getting ready for monthly test (iii) which is in two weeks.
JUST KIDDING.

7. Doing well in add maths and horribly in modern maths.
(WHAT HAS THE WORLD BECOME?)

8. Missed JOE BROOK'S CONCERT!


Tell me he isin't just about the cutest/hottest thing you've ever seen,
and i will punch you in the boob.

Check out his Youtube Channel, show some love.

Joe Brooks's Channel

9. Feeling miserable and pathetic
Note : Refer to (8)

10. Feeling more self-conscious day by day.
With all these impossibly gorgeous girls trolling all over my dashboard and facebook.
Only makes looking at myself so much more repulsive.
Makes me think of how any guy would choose this sad fatty
when there are rosie huntington look-a-likes out there.
And trust me, there are loads of em'
Its okay though, i can always donate my ovaries ovums!
#forever alone

Life Lesson 101

Spent my entire weekend repeating Karl Largefeld's words :-

— Karl Lagerfeld

like a mantra after watching his documentary on friday night.

Largerfeld Confidential

Watch it, its good. and life changing.

It was in my case anyway.

I only now just realized im the type of boring stereotype sort of human
who lives with my head in the past.
Constantly looking back and thinking

"I was actually genuinely happy back then"

Its stupid really.

Thoughts like these actually makes you even more miserable than you already are.

How STUPID i was to let myself be unhappy because of some bastard whom couldn't give a shit.


NO.

NOT ANYMORE.


This movie was exactly what i needed.

A slap in the face.
A splash of cold water.
(figuratively speaking of course)

What good is it feeling remorseful and regretful half your life?

There is no better time than the present.
Screw the people that stomp in and out of your life like its theirs for the taking.

I shall live freely and fearlessly for the present. Period.



P/S : Bought 3 gossip girl books at the Times warehouse sale
at only Rm3/book.
Best buy EVER.

Bittersweet

(stole pic from a band cover)

I feel as if everyone's emotions are all highly strung now.
On the verge of snapping any moment now.

Its scary how with just one strum of the hand.
Everything might snap.

Just like that.

Today during my afternoon nap,
i had the most sweetest dream i've ever had till date.
The kind of 'sweet' that made your heart ache
with so much pain you feel as if you can't breathe.

And i even woke up with tears.

Im dead serious.

Thing is,
It's going to be a memory that haunts me for a long time.

Why?

Simply because the entire dream is something we almost had but could never ever have any longer because we're no longer friends.

And this crushes me to no end.

Life, why must you torment me this way?

Just when i thought i was okay with not being friends anymore.
This happens?

I've tried and tried and tried to keep the fire burning.
But what's the point when the wig is all burned out?
I cant keep trying and loosing a piece of myself everytime i try
When there he is, oblivious to everything slipping by.

Like a candle,
its the end of the line for us.

I'll always look back at this memory thinking about what we could have had...
For it was so bloody close something so aching sweet.

Absurdity II

A continuation of sorts of my previous post, here.

I know i've already mentioned about how i absolutely LOATHE teachers using facebook/twitter/gossip or even written diaries as a medium to obtain personal student information.

But this is taking it a little too far.

I might or might not have said some negative things
about the teachers who are teaching me this year.

However, don't i have the right to express my honest opinions?

Like how they are expressing THEIR honest opinions,
by choosing favorites,
by picking on certain students,
by gossiping about students in the staff room whenever they have the time?

What i said was private and only for the eyes of one.

But that very specific 'one' apparently has a rather huge gossiping mouth.

Sigh, let's be clear here.
I am not here to trade insults or be disrespectful to anyone.

So i dont like my current teachers.

But do i still do their homework?
YES.
Do i copy EVERYTHING that's written on the board if necessary?
YES.
Do i listen during their boring classes?
YES.
Do i stand and greet them as they enter the class?
YES.
Do i respect them as a human being?
YES.

So i dont get why the fuck are they making such a big deal out of it.
Lets be frank now, it's not as though no one
has ever commented on their teaching ability prior to me.
I just happen to be one of the few that actually have the 'balls' to stand behind my opinions.

So long story short,
The entire staff room hates me because i have strong opinions
and is not afraid to voice them.
and by the entire staff room i dont mean a few teachers here and there.
On the contrary, due to this incident.
I almost couldn't attend a school trip due to the grudge a teacher is holding against me.

And this teacher doesn't even teach me for heaven's sake.

WHY ARE YOU TEACHERS SO TOUCHY?!

WHY?

What happened to accepting critics and improving
as an individual like we learn in Moral?
What happened to forgive and forget?
What happened to being a grown up?

WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING PAST THE AGE OF UNBALANCED HORMONES?

Ugh.

What im really furious about is how i din't even wish for my comment to be disrespectful or malicious in any way or form.
I was just stating how i felt in a rather polite way might i add!
And they're making this such a huge deal.
And it's already been what, a month?

As if they don't have anything better to do than to hold grudges.
Please.

I guess i've learned my lesson on being too open-minded
and brutally honest about things.
And since its affecting so many teachers so drastically, im even sorry i wrote it.

Regrets, regrets.
One too many for my liking.

Teenage Dream


SURPRISE!

My Sunway Lagoon trip pictures!

It's more special than normal because well,
have you seen people taking pictures in lagoon?

Thanks to my Olympus underwater cam,
water is no longer a limitation.
#fuck yeah.

I've only uploaded a few pictures tho,
the full album is up on fb, here.





HAHAHAHA.

Cause we cool liddat V^^V


This is ♥

Half success jump shot.
(Colin looks extremely scary. You can actually see his ribcage)

Beach volley!


And well, as for my other more interesting surprise.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I WENT FOR A PHOTOSHOOT.
(on the 4th of February 2012)

A real one this time, not the usual anyhow anyplace camwhore okay.

It was my sweet 16th birthday present from my sister.
I only have 3 pictures out of the 42 that i took tho.
Had to pay extra if i wanted more than 3 pictures.

Im only posting 2 tho.

Ta-da.

Food for thought

Upcoming surprise!

Damn right, i dont have Asian eyes.
(only in this picture, HAH)

Okay, so im sort of tied up with the ongoing monthly exams right now.

So my next post is gonna be a SURPRISE!

My next bunch of pictures would be rather interesting!

And worth your while, so come back soon!

For who knows?
You might be in it.

Among other things

(like my new accessory? Me like )

So i've been meaning to blog for quite some time now.
And i guess this is me finally getting round to it.

I've been looking at my previous posts and i realized i never spoken about my class
(4 Jasmin)

Fact ; I really do like my class.

I cant put my finger on exactly why that is.
But i feel so comfortable and at home with them
Its just such a pleasure to be around them.
I feel bubbly and happy with them.

despite there being the only 2 people i hate in the entire school. universe.
(besides rapist and mass-murderers. or murderers in general of course)
despite there being the lamest people i've ever had to endure.
despite there being the lousiest teachers i've ever encountered in my 16 years of living.

I have never felt this way about any of the classes i've been too
(excluding primary school of course, i had the most genuine insanely happy childhood a girl could wish for)
till now.

Main point is.

I LIKE MY CLASS. I GENUINELY LIKE IT.


However ...

fact ; the teachers i have is absolutely and unmistakeably dreadful.

I just get so frustrated.
WHY? Cant they assign us proper teachers?
WHY?

Sigh.

It's been a whole month now, give and take.

And i feel like i barely learned anything.
It annoys me to no end.
I have NEVER had such bad teachers ALL AT ONCE.
And trust me, i've been through my fair share of bad teachers.

Moving on to more pleasant things,
(Just talking about teachers makes me frustrated all over again)

I proudly present my album cover (of the scrap book my sis and i are making)
to my little tigers.
(my triplet cousins)



*pun intended in the picture.

I am rather proud if i say so myself :')
Started on an entirely blank canvas on Photoshop.

So yes,
despite the ugly emotional crisis i've been going through this sad sad year.
I am still alive and smiling as wide as i can.
Even though, im about as unhappy as a pimply backside.

Bad Birthday

I guess you have good ones.
And also not so good ones eh?

It's funny how the closest of friends wished me the latest
and the friends whom i rarely keep in touched with
bothered to TEXT ME A DAY EARLIER.

I guess this shows me who cares and who doesn't?

But i don't blame anyone tho,
(so please dont go feeling guilty)
im sure everyone was busy with CNY preparations.

You know, sometimes i just don't get it.

You feel most lonely when everyone is right there with you.

Such a depressing birthday and new year.
I guess it's a fact that as you grow older,
you see the world and people around you in an entirely new light.

Rainbows aren't so colorful anymore,
Singing birds aren't so cheerful anymore,
Smiles isn't easily given anymore.

PFFFT. enough with sad poetry.
No one needs them on such a supposedly happy occasion anyway.

Sorry loves, for such a depressing post on a happy day.

Nevertheless, here's a smile for a brighter day ahead.

: )

Catching up

Okay so, i know in my previous post
I mentioned that i wanted a pencil case for my birthday.

And knowing all you cheapo's out there.
Everyone wants to get me a pencil case.
{by everyone i meant what little friends i have because let's get real. No one gives me presents for my birthday besides mummy and daddy}
Because not only is it cheap, its useful and i would appreciate it.

Haaah, i dont blame you.
But if you haven't bought it yet STOP GETTING ME PENCIL CASES .

(no one has actually given me a pencil case
but everyone is telling me they would,
could this be a lie?
Could i end up with no pencil cases in the end?)

Instead you can get me a (brown/red) backpack for school yeah yeah?




or maybe a nice pair of size 6 sports shoes?
*cough*
(i do know that this contradicts to my previous post about me not expecting expensive gifts.
In my defense, i never claimed i wasn't a hypocrite)


A few more (expensive) ideas for you.

TEE HEE :D

Okay i didn't just come here to blog about my birthday wishlist for the second time.

Surprise surprise.
There's more!

We (my volleyball team) placed 4th in the district level competition.
Which means we are no where close to representing the district
for the state competition.
It wasn't really depressing.
I saw it coming.

But that's okay
We'll do better next year.
(senior year baby!)
We have to.

And well, lastly.

Happy Chinese New Year Kiddos.

Time for endless tossing of ''yee sang''
money counting.
wardrobe changing
family gatherings


AND AND AND PEAKING DUCK nom-ing

*licks away drool*